Category: Life Advice - Page 42

Made Whole: Feeling Fulfilled Without Food

by Bianca Olthoff | Aug 10, 2021 | Healing, Life Advice, Testimonies

Pounds. Ounces. Measuring cups. Tablespoons. Teaspoons. Since I was a child, I’ve been measuring my life in pieces. I’ve struggled with weight since childhood. And I’m not talking about feeling bloated after a burrito. I’m talking about being obese and weighing more than my father at the age of 12. Life felt so out of control and in pieces that the only thing I knew was to pick up the pieces of life and run really hard.

By the time college came around, I became an expert at running with my hands full of the pieces of my life. It was a time of reinventing myself and shedding my shame and my weight, which interestingly enough, existed in the presence of each other. The obese little girl was a distant memory and the shadow of the girl who strode onto campus conveniently stuffing the broken pieces of her life in a designer book bag.

College was a chance to reinvent myself. No one knew I was an illiterate child who shared a bedroom with my sisters and snuck food into closets while no one was looking. No one knew I was poor or made fun of because of where I lived or the color of my skin. No one knew I witnessed the prejudice against my father and his lingering accent. It was a chance to be who I dreamed of being: perfect.

Never to be thought of as the stupid kid ever again, academic excellence was the bar. From color-coding my notes, study groups, re-writing my notes, and note cards, I was obsessed with academia. If the letter A was an item, it was the hidden treasure I sought out.

But my manic behavior didn’t stop there. I became obsessed with dieting and an allusive number on the scale. I became fixated on controlling every aspect of my life. It was my goal to never be made fun of again and to find clothing that was not in the full-figured women’s section of department stores. Never again would I need to wear a plus-size forest green jumpsuit with elastic waistband and faux gold buttons (aka my Easter outfit circa 1993).

As a grown adult, I can’t even begin to recall how many diets I’ve been on. Seriously, it’s embarrassing. The Orange Peel Diet (boil 30 orange rinds for five hours in two gallons of water and drink the tea for the next 48 hours); The Soup Diet (boil every green vegetable in a cauldron of water and eat it for eight days straight); The Meat Diet (the diabolic travesty of my life); The Vegan Diet (I gained weight); The Liquid Diet (I ran to the restroom every 30 seconds); The Pills-from-Mexico Diet (I not only lost weight, I lost sleep, hair, and control over my sweat glands). Sadly, the list goes on.

Unless you’ve struggled with an addictive or obsessive behavior yourself, it’s difficult to understand the pain. Controlling a diet or eating habits may seem easy to some. You know, just simply put down the food. But someone telling me to stop eating or stop obsessively working out or stop color-coding my notes was like telling the sun not to rise. No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible.

So I held on to control like a cobra grasping its prey. I lost 45 pounds, I had a stellar GPA, I had the best clothes, my work was excellent, my professors loved me, and my scholarships kept coming in. I, I, I. My, my, my. Me, me, me. I had become the captain of the ship, the driver to my destiny, the god of control.

Others probably thought I had my life together, but I knew it was a façade. Deep inside I feared one misstep would cause a trapdoor to open and a massive boulder to fall on my head. One mistake would remove the favor in my life and reveal the frightened girl who simultaneously controlled everything and nothing, and the pieces of my private life would be spilled on the floor for everyone to see.

Here’s the truth: you will have moments where you feel like your life is in pieces.

You know all the pieces once made something beautifully whole, but right now? Right now it feels like puzzle pieces you’re forcing to fit together, but refuse to match, leaving you with what feels like empty holes that feel impossible to fill.

And it’s that empty feeling that drives us to fill what we can with what we know: food.

If you’ve ever wrestled with food or food addiction, you might have found yourself saying:

I feel like I’m missing something.

I want to feel complete.

I feel broken and cracked.

I want to feel whole.

I’m so empty.

If I could stop _____, then I would feel okay.

For women unaware they are addicts to food, suffer from disordered eating, and exercise control of their emotions by binge dieting, I’m here to tell you a sobering truth: we are hungry for things food cannot fill. What feels like hunger pains are actually soul cravings.

And sadly, an empty soul cannot be filled with ice cream.

When food/porn/television/alcohol/sex don’t take the emptiness away (like we believe it will), the belief is more will make it better…

One more serving of food

One more hour of work

One more drink

One more episode

The completion of your life isn’t going to be filled binging, purging, or withholding. The broken pieces of our life are only made whole and complete through the love of Jesus. Paul the Apostle wrote to the Colossians and reminded them that in Him you have been made complete (Colossians 2:10). Our desires claim to satisfy us, but only God can make us full. Why? Because food isn’t the real problem, emptiness is.

Jesus has come to life and life to the FULLEST (John 10:10). I wish there was a magic pill I could give you or some new simple answer to those of us who struggle with disordered eating. But this is what I’m learning and want to share with you.

We need to find fullness in God before we feel the fullness of food.

We will mess up and make mistakes. But know this:

No matter what your past holds, it can’t hold you.

You are not who you are when you are weak.

You are not who you are when you fail.

You are not who you are when you sin.

You are a child of the Most High God.

As you begin to put the pieces of your life and issues with food back into place, let me encourage you that being made whole is not only possible, it’s the essence of who Jesus is and what He came to do.

Jesus came to make us whole. Jesus can make us complete. When God looks at you He does not see you in the weakness of your failures, but in the fullness of His purpose He picks you up and reminds you to keep going.

This post was taken from our LO sister workshop: “The Powerful Workshop”! To learn more from Bianca, Shelley Giglio, Alex Seeley, and more (all include video teaching from each contributor!), click HERE and join our community today!

As both a pastor and author who has been in ministry for more than 20 years, Bianca inspires people to live with passion. Her leadership at The Father’s House Orange County has allowed her church to reach people all over the world. As the founder and president of the nonprofit, In The Name of Love, she is committed to serving the incarcerated and equipping them to discover freedom despite their surroundings.

Bianca describes herself as a passionate, Jesus-loving, Bible-teaching, book-writing MexiRican. Experience her energy in her best-selling book, Play with Fire and her most recent book, How to Have Your Life Not Suck: Becoming Today Who You Want to Be Tomorrow, which explores how to win at work and navigate through life’s many decisions.

Your Feelings Aren’t the Boss of You

by Lisa Whittle | Aug 5, 2021 | College, Life Advice

I have lived this scenario more times than I care to count: someone made a comment that upset me. I wouldn’t say anything, but inside I was triggered by it, so I shut down and began to shut them out. I didn’t necessarily mean to or know I was doing it – it just happened. My best friend and I used to even have a name for it. It was when I would “check people off my list.” We would joke about it, but the truth is, it quietly hurt my heart so I would quickly let people go.

Sometimes it went a little differently. Tensions between myself and a friend would rise, I would blow up over something they did (maybe even something little, due to things having built up), heated words were exchanged, and our friendship would sever. Later I would think about it, wishing I could turn back the clock and take my poor behavior back.

It feels terrible when your feelings become the boss of you.

There have been other situations of bossy emotions, too. Overwhelming fear that kept me from doing something I really wanted to do. Feelings of jealousy that prevented me from being genuinely able to cheer for someone else. Feelings of bitterness that kept me from forgiving someone…or feelings of guilt that kept me from forgiving myself.

Over time, I got so sick of the feelings of regret that came from my emotions being in charge of me that I decided to do something about it.

I knew I needed to better understand why if God had made me with my emotions (instead of making me like a robot without them), they were actually causing me problems and unnecessary pain? And since feelings were created by Him, what was the best way, His way, to handle them?

As I began to pray about this, the Lord showed me an important distinction: how feelings were meant to be a gauge, not a god.

Gauges are crucial. They give us vital information we need to know – what is happening underneath the surface that we cannot see. What might be a problem we need to address. What is a limit, and when we are going too far.

Just think of gauges in a car. We need to know how much farther we can go on the gas we have in our tank, if our oil and water levels are good so the engine doesn’t blow up, and all of the other important informational “signs and signals.” When I went to college, 16 hours away from home, the one thing my dad instilled in me was to always check the pressure of my tires. Otherwise, I wouldn’t know if I was driving around with a tire about to go flat on the highway. Without these gauges, important things go unattended, and we could even be at risk.

But a god, on the other hand, is a role that goes beyond mere instruction in our life. It is a role of highest placement and priority, in a position of ownership and ultimate power.

We can allow things to become a god in our life to rival the real God of all true authority. (He has no real rival, of course, but we can give things God-like status.) These are our idols, and though we might not think of feelings as an idol, anything we put over the Word of God can be. In our culture, and really, all throughout the history of the world since creation, the tendency of humanity is to turn even good things into idols, exalting them above God. It’s actually nothing new.

Feelings have become that for our current culture. If you aren’t sure you agree, just think about things you have probably observed to assess if what I’m saying might be true. Fights over the internet, due to careless and even cruel passing comments by strangers and “friends.” The freedom to say what we want when we want without any commitment to wisdom, crushing so many of our hearts. The volatile past election season, mask wars, and the divided nature of our country. Families that are still divided because we decided to bow to our feelings and behave in whatever way they took us, and though that felt important at the time, we now just want our family back.

We’ve been told to do exactly what we feel like doing with our bodies, and that has gotten us into messy situations in relationships that are now over and all we are left with is regret. I don’t have to go through the list, and I say this with not an ounce of judgment. I have such a tender spot for us because I know what it’s like to cry over past mistakes and wish it were different. I love Jesus so much because He has loved me through that, and loves me through my mistakes, still. And He wants for both of us to simply know the truth: that He is our God, not our feelings. He is in charge. Feelings aren’t the boss – they are to come under His management and control. And His way will lead to a life of no regrets.

“if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective. Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you….And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death…doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it…That’s a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It wasn’t long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now…” (Col. 3:1-8 The MSG)

I am so deeply grateful I know better about a few things, now. I am so grateful He has saved me from my own thoughts, opinions and yes, my every feeling. What I can tell you for sure is that our feelings are beautiful and wildly important. God gave them to us for a reason. But He is our one and only God, and He alone will never steer us wrong.

Lisa Whittle is the author of eight books, and her wit and bold bottom-line approach have made her a sought-after Bible teacher. A pastor’s daughter and longtime ministry leader in issues relevant to the church, Lisa is the founder of Ministry Strong and the popular Jesus Over Everything podcast. Her love runs deep to see people pursue Jesus for life, grow deep roots of faith, and walk strong in the midst of a world that so often seems to have gone crazy. She and her family live in North Carolina. Learn more about Lisa’s new book, The Hard Good, and take her free quiz about bossy emotions at https://lisawhittle.com/good/.

True Confidence in Your Identity

by Live Original | Aug 3, 2021 | College, Life Advice

Note from Team LO: We are so excited to share a snippet from our Confidence in College workshop inside LO sister out now! This workshop includes a 4-week study for college girls on finding confidence in your identity, navigating dating, overcoming anxiety and living in freedom on your campus. Join here for the full workshop! OH….and for the first time ever in LO sister history, there is a workbook available too for pre-order! Grab yours here! Now enjoy this snippet from part 1 of the workshop 🙂

IDENTITY

DEFINITION: Knowing exactly who you are and how you were created.

Have you ever been getting to know someone on campus and they ask, who are you?

Court here. I went to a large university in the heart of Los Angeles, CA. One of the hardest things was to share about my identity, and share with people who I was. So I resorted to easy answers most of the time. My response used to be:

I’m a Theta.

I live in the Trojan Hall dorm.

I am majoring in communication.

All those things are truths about me, but that’s not who I was on campus. So whether you’re preparing to step onto campus or about to graduate, we’re going to take a moment to consider WHO we truly are.

Perhaps you know who you are, or you’re like, help me I don’t know what I am doing or who I am. You’re not alone. That’s 99% of us. And for those who may feel confident in their identity, keep reading on. This is for you to be reminded of all the reasons to love WHO God made you to be.

Make a list, check it twice.

Who are you? Who do you want to be? Why? Jot down a list…

Seriously, right now in your journal, your phone notes, or in the comments below write out the first things that come to mind.

As you look through this list, take a minute to meditate on each line. Ask yourself:

Is this something of the world or something that aligns with God’s heart?

Think about all the things about you, about your mind, your heart. Is this something YOU had to do to achieve?

I sure hope not. If so, scratch it off the list. I’ll help you out friend. (HA!)

Here’s what I wrote down so far:

Daughter, sister, friend, creative, encourager, believer, athletic, sincere, genuine, emotionless, defensive, not a physical touch person.

Take one more minute (and don’t roll your eyes… do it!). Think about the beauty of the true words on that list.

We hope that next time you step into a class, walk into rush or a social setting, repeat these words:

I am beautiful. I am loved. I am a daughter.

Identity is a beautiful gift, my friend. We hope this workshop continues to remind you that you are so loved, known, and here for a purpose. When you know who you are, you can live in freedom.

TRUTH: Ephesians 2:10: For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Matthew 5:13-14: Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this world.

Who am I? Who does God say that I am?
What are the things that I am believing about myself and for myself?
What is one thing that you believe about yourself that you need to let go?

Watch Your Mind

by Ayana Symone | Jul 29, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies

If you’re anything like me, you have full-blown, over-coffee conversations with yourself in your head all the time. During the day when you’re trying to work, during the night when you should be sleeping. All the time. 24/7. At 100 MPH speed.

Your conversations range from scrutinizing your appearance, criticizing your work ethic, nitpicking what you say in every conversation, thinking about what’s due tomorrow, trashing the very thing most people compliment you on and so on and so forth until you’ve nearly driven yourself mad.

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, yes, it feels just as miserable as it looks in writing.

But, for those of you who can relate, I’m writing this blog post for you.

Because in case you’ve forgotten, your casual, absentminded way of constantly tearing yourself down in your mind is not okay. It’s not healthy, it’s not humble, and it’s not holy either. The truth is that the way we talk to ourselves matter—not just because we’re the only ones worthy enough to have an intelligent conversation with ourselves every once in a while (kidding!), but because while we can tune out the world any time we want to, we actually have to live with the voice in our heads. And, whatever we tell ourselves is what we hear, and what we hear has a pretty strong impact on how we live.

At a very young age, my bible-believing, Jesus-freak grandmother taught me that there is power in our words. And whenever something offensive would slip from me, she’d always give me the same stern warning I’ll never forget:

“Watch your mouth!”

(And, just by taking a look at my career choice as a writer, I suppose I took her pretty seriously, as I try to use every word with purpose.)

But now that I’m older, I’ve realized that my mouth is not the only thing that needs monitoring. As I’ve grown to be a creative over-thinker as much as I’ve become a creative writer, I’m warning myself to watch the words that I let in and out of another part of myself:

My mind.

Which leads me to introduce the topic of today’s post…

Today, we’re talking about self-talk.

And if there’s anyone here today that’s got to get a whole lot better at being kinder in the area of self-talk, I will be the first to admit that it’s me.

I can talk myself into feeling less than.

I can talk myself into an anxiety attack.

I can talk myself into quitting, into getting bitter, into making a bad decision.

I can talk myself into anything.

And it all happens in my mind.

And, the filthy bickering you yap at yourself all day long happens in your mind too, which is why I’ve got to warn us all on the blog today:

In the same way I was taught to watch my mouth, we’ve all got to watch our minds too.

Why?

Because our voice lives there. And, if we have no choice but to live with it, we better make sure that voice is aligned with one much more meaningful than our own.

And, I’ve got great news today:

There is another voice.

And unlike our own, this voice holds the truth about ourselves and about our situation.

And the best part?

It’s the only voice that matters.

This voice overrides the lies you’ve believed, the degrading comments you’ve accepted over time, the shame you’ve condemned yourself with…

This voice is powerful!

It’s none other than the sweet voice of Jesus Christ, and everything He wants us to hear is already printed in His Word.

If you didn’t catch it the first time, I’ll tell it to you plain:

This is good news!

Because one thing I’ve observed about myself is that I have a bad habit of talking to myself not according to His Word, but through my own imagination. You know—the place where we entertain our own seemingly realistic scenarios and filter them through a distorted version of reality, convincing ourselves to believe lies that we didn’t even stop to wonder whether or not are true, inevitably leading us to talk to ourselves like we’re piles of dirt.

Yes—that place.

If we let it, our imagination can run rampant and lead us down the rabbit hole of stinking thinking. But, here’s a reminder that I have to tell myself and a reminder you might want to consider as well:

Our imagination isn’t real.

God’s Word is.

And, it’s about time we let His Word be the mediator in every conversation we have with ourselves.

So, without further ado, I want to introduce two truthful and victorious ways to have healthy self-talk:

Affirm yourself in the Word of God.
Align your thoughts with His.

I call this the double A battery, if you will. Affirm and align, friends. This is the way to win in the area of self-talk.

(But, PSST: Neither of these steps are possible if we don’t know what His Word says in the first place.)

Now, I’m not too sure what you’ve heard about the Word of God, but if you’ve heard anything other than the entire book being a beautiful love story of God redeeming the world, who rebelled against Him after He created it, through the precious blood of His Only Son Jesus Christ, then it isn’t true. The Bible—God’s Word—is the greatest reason why we should pursue victory in the area of self-talk.

Everything in His Word was written because He loves you. Every story told, every miracle, every commandment recorded is not to demonstrate how much He’s against you, but instead is there to remind you of how much He is for you. And, the Word He has spoken over you in the Bible is the word He wants you to speak over yourself in your mind.

What I’m saying is this:

There is power in our words, but the ultimate power lies in His Word. And in His Word, specifically Philippians 4:8, He makes it pretty clear through the wonderful writings of Apostle Paul what He wants our thoughts to consist of:

“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

And, hey, I must admit:

That’s a pretty powerful list—a great filter to use when it comes to our self-talk.

If the thought coming your way is not true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy, don’t let it in. And, if you’ve already let it in, don’t let it stay! It’s time we watch what we let in and out of our minds. The mind is where God can speak, and it would be a shame if you let your own destructive voice become louder than His truth.

Therefore, let this be an encouragement to us all. Let’s choose to tune into the Word of God. Let’s affirm ourselves in His Word by telling ourselves that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, according to Psalms 139:14, and that we are His masterpiece, destined to do incredible things for the Kingdom of God, according to Ephesians 2:10, and that we were made in His image, according to Genesis 1:26, and that through His sufficient grace, even when we are weak, we can still be strong, according to 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.

Meditating on these things and more in His Word is what can help us fulfill the next step:

When we affirm ourselves in the word of God, we can align our thoughts with His.

After all, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His ways are higher than our ways, according to Isaiah 55:9. It’s time we talked to ourselves through His perspective!

So, let this be the topic of discussion in your mind from now until forevermore. Let your self-talk be all about Jesus. Hold His voice to the highest esteem. For it is up to you to watch the words you tell yourself in your mind, and the only conversation you should have is what He’s already spoken about you in His Word.

At twenty years old, Ayana is an author, a blogger, and the host of “To Be Heard” Podcast. In 2018, she self-published her first novel, titled, How I Fell in Love with Myself, and is currently working on her second. She is a former English & Journalism major, currently taking online writing classes from a school based in New York. As she continues to pursue a career in writing, she aims to bring relevant messages of faith, redemption, hope & self esteem to you & others around the world.

Follow Ayana on Instagram @ayanasymone

Seeing Ourselves As God Sees Us

by Alex Seeley | Jul 27, 2021 | Healing, Life Advice, Testimonies

For many years, I struggled to believe that God had made me beautiful. As I got older, I became increasingly uncomfortable with my changing body. I was an Italian girl growing up in Australia, where most of the girls were blonde and blue-eyed. For some reason, those features were prettier to me. I had thick, curly black hair that, when I let it out, made me look like a wild woman with unruly hair. Combing out those tangles was a nightmare. I used to stare at the mirror and tell myself how ugly I was and pull my hair out from the roots to punish myself.

I remember wishing someone would break my nose, so I would have an excuse to have a rhinoplasty. I was already feeling awkward in my preteen body, but to add insult to injury, my mum would often say, “Be careful not to eat too much; it will make you large and unattractive.” Wow! Just like that, Satan’s lie began to stain my mind. I vowed to never let myself get big, because I was convinced I would be unacceptable and unlovable if I did.

I believed Satan’s lie. He said if I could make the outside of my body perfect, then I would be acceptable to those around me. Preoccupied with how perfect my body needed to be, I became obsessed with what I ate and how I could reverse what I had just eaten. For years, I struggled with my body image. There were times I would be in conversation with people and look as if I were listening, when in fact, I was mentally calculating calories and planning a new strategy of starvation. The thinner I was, the more affirmation I received from those around me. I became addicted to the verbal affirmation about my outward appearance, which fueled the eating disorder that dictated my life. I was so starved for affirmation and validation that I starved my physical body to obtain what I thought would bring me joy. But it was exhausting and never brought me the security I was longing for.

Why do we try to reach an unattainable goal of outward perfection? Because somewhere along the way, we have bought into Satan’s lie that our bodies are flawed and that in order to be loved, we need to make our bodies look perfect. Plastic surgeons are laughing all the way to the bank because of this very lie. Many people are unhappy with their exterior and truly believe if they can look a certain way, then they will be fulfilled.

During those years I certainly was not happy with the way I looked. I had a long list of issues with how God made me. I thought my design was flawed and wondered why God made me unattractive and other girls beautiful. I was so focused on the exterior that I missed the fact that God had tailor-made me from the inside out—and that what He made was very good because He doesn’t make mistakes.

God designed me to be unique from the other girls, not to conform to the one- size-fits-all ideal that Satan tries to deceive us into thinking we must achieve. However, all I cared about was what I was supposed to look like according to what the girls in my classroom and the magazines said I should look like. It made perfect sense in my mind that if I somehow achieved physical beauty on the outside, then my life would automatically be beautiful on the inside and all my problems would dissolve.

What I didn’t realize while growing up was that I was broken and bruised on the inside—which was why I felt so ugly on the outside. Until I came to the realization that God needed to come into my heart and fix what was broken, I was continually chasing a false reality of outward perfection.

So, for years I struggled with rejection and body image issues. I rationalized and justified my behavior, unwilling to admit what was really going on. I hid behind lies and excuses for my eating disorder because I was afraid that if I shared the truth with anyone, they would reject and judge me. I couldn’t bear the possibility of being rejected again. I lived in constant turmoil. I tried in my own way to be free, but I couldn’t seem to gain freedom in the areas of body image and acceptance. I would stare at myself in the mirror, spewing words over myself: “You’re disgusting.” “You’re fat.” “How can anyone even stand to look at you?” On and on went the verbal abuse.

My heart was so wounded by the words that had been spoken over me as a child that I continually reinforced every word about how ugly I was. I put on a fantastic façade, one that could have earned me an Oscar. I convinced everyone around me that I was free when I really wasn’t.

It took me surrendering my whole heart to Jesus and allowing Him to come in and heal the most vulnerable places. Once I allowed Jesus to reveal the core wound and allow Him to heal it, I received healing in a place in my heart that I had not allowed anyone to visit. I realized if a God who is so big and powerful

took the time to be so detailed in creating me, then I have no excuse to be anything but glorious for Him—for I was fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. I discovered that I was good enough as me. It was as if I became a new person, but I was actually just discovering myself—finally. I had thrown out all the junk that had piled on top of who I was born to be. The clutter had been in the way, burying who I was.

Piece by piece, Jesus removed the debris I had accumulated over the years. Every lie I believed about myself was lifted, and I discovered a pot of gold that had always been living inside of me buried deep down. I discovered that I was valuable. I discovered that I was creative and intelligent. I discovered that people loved being around me. I discovered that I had a unique sense of style. I finally saw that Alex was a good person. Everything started to change. I wore what I wanted. I ate what I wanted. I did what I liked for the first time in years, and I didn’t care what anyone thought.

I began to allow God’s voice to become the loudest voice in my heart. After many layers of healing, I had to go through the grieving process of all those years that felt wasted because of my insecurities. When I look back at photos of myself during that season, it’s astounding to see the difference between then and now. I look older and so very sad in those old pictures. I now love who I am and know that I was born to leave a mark that no one else but me can leave.

I can’t believe I used to feel so ugly; I can’t believe I allowed those feelings to skew my ability to trust deeply because I was afraid that those who came close could potentially hurt me. Then I began to see myself how God sees me. I allowed God to heal my heart. By yielding to Him, I entered the process of being transformed into a beautiful daughter who found her security and identity in belonging to my heavenly Father, which has helped me rise above all insecurity and fear.

This post was taken from our LO sister workshop: “The Powerful Workshop”! To learn more from Alex, Shelley Giglio, Bianca Olthoff, and more (all include video teaching from each contributor!), click HERE and join our community today!

Alex is a passionate communicator and teacher of the Word. Possessing a unique ability to reveal how the Word of God is applicable to our everyday lives, Alex shares openly about how the power of God has proven real in her own life. Known for her boldness and tenacity, you’ll love the way Jesus shines through her. Born and raised in Australia, Alex served as an Executive Pastor at a church in Melbourne for nearly 20 years.

Having relocated with her family to Nashville in 2012, Alex and her husband Henry, began to open their home on Tuesday nights. Their heart was for people to worship, encounter God and build genuine community in a city where people’s personal and spiritual lives often succumb to the transient nature of ‘life on the road’. By February 2014, their basement was filled to capacity and as a result The Belonging Co. church was born. The vision of the Belonging Co. is for people to experience Jesus in an authentic way that affects every area of their life. Encounter over entertainment, intimacy over industry and presence over presentation continues to be the mandate for the church.

As Senior Pastors of the Belonging Co., Alex and Henry call Nashville home where they live with their two children, Holly and Taylor.

JOY

by Emily Whatley | Jul 22, 2021 | Healing, Life Advice, Testimonies

Note from Team LO: We are SO excited to bring you this month’s post from our LO sister member, Emily Whatley! If you want to be a part of this incredible community, you can join today and get your first week FREE! Find out more about this online sisterhood HERE. And for more info about what LO sister is all about, visit our Instagram Page!

Now, enjoy today’s post from Emily 🙂

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If you were to ask me this time last year if I struggled with depression, my mouth would have told you no. But if I had been honest with myself and those around me, I would’ve said that I had been depressed for a while and had shoved it deep down, that it had always been a part of who I was and had just become normal. There are moments in my life where I can pinpoint where I was really struggling yet decided to ignore it, but it wasn’t until this past winter that it had gotten to a point where I couldn’t push it away any longer and was able to let my mouth say,

“yes, and I need help”

Today, a year later, I can thankfully say that I am in the best mental state I have been in a long time and am the best version of myself both physically, mentally, and spiritually. There’s so much I want to and will share about what I’ve learned to get there where I am today, but I know the #1 reason that I was able to get better is because I sought out help, both from a counselor and most importantly God. Through seeking help, I’ve been able to process my feelings better and learn ways to cope and handle my thoughts, and through seeking the Lord, I have been able to learn so much about what it means to have joy, a deep-rooted happiness in the Lord.

This summer I got the opportunity to work as a camp counselor, and during pre-camp, we were asked to pick a word to focus on during our time at camp. Immediately, I knew my word would be JOY. Not because it was a small word and would easily fit on a bracelet we would make the next week, but because I knew that there were going to be days this summer that were long, hard, tough, and exhausting. And for me to do my job well and continue to keep myself well, I needed to have joy and a renewed strength to get through each and every day.

“Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.’” (Nehemiah 8:10)

The Bible says in Nehemiah that “the joy of the Lord is your strength”. That when we have joy, we can be strong. I’ve always looked at this verse as that, where if I’m happy in the Lord then I’ll find strength. But I think there’s so much more to it than it being that simple. Because to find strength, we have to recognize that we are weak. We have to see that we can’t do something on our own and have to find this inner power to push through and press on. And I think it’s the same way in our day to day lives. That when we understand that we’re tired and need help to put on a brave face, that we’re drained and need someone to give us the willpower to make it to the end of the day, someone who can give us a joy and strength that we cannot experience ourselves.

It took me a while to get to this point myself. For so long, I tried to hide my feelings and do everything in my own strength. I was the one who had to be strong, to take care of myself, to keep moving while hurting so deeply inside. But my feelings had become so strong that they were too big to ignore anymore, and my every day life was being affected. I knew I needed help but kept telling myself that I wasn’t that bad off and would get over it soon. But once I admitted I wasn’t okay and sought out help, God was able to transform my mind and give me a strength that can only be found when we are fully happy in Him. And when we’re able to find joy and escape the sadness, it’s not just something we keep inside; joy flows from the inside out for those around us to see! I wanted to picked joy as my word this summer because I never thought I was good at showing it and needed to work on it, but it ended up being something I was defined by because it had become a part of who I was. I realized that I needed help each and every day of my life, and in realizing my weakness, I was able to find joy and be strong.

“That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10)

There are so many long, hard, tough, and exhausting days in life. We all can agree that life is not always sunshines and rainbows. And on those difficult days, we try to ignore our feelings, putting walls up and forcing a smile on our face so that we can be strong. But when we do this, we only leave ourselves more hurt than we were before. When we humble ourselves and seek help, understand that we sometimes can’t do things on our own, and realize that when we are weak He is our strength, we can find this deep-rooted happiness in the Lord because we know that He is all we have and all we will ever need. And that is when we truly will be strong.

If you are struggling with mental health, know that you are not alone. There are many people who feel what you’re feeling and understand exactly what you’re going through. But most importantly, know that God will never leave you nor forsake you, and that you too can find joy and strength in Him.

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