by Ryanne Gordon | Feb 23, 2021 | Life Advice, Testimonies |
As challenging as this post was to write, so much healing and celebration came from it. I was asked to share “What does black history month mean to me”?
I thought I had something to say right away, but I couldn’t answer. I asked myself “why”? Truth is, up until this year, Black History Month was just another month. Yes, I learned about my history, but it always felt like the world and my community always went through the motions when it came to February. I personally never really felt proud of being “black”. I just existed as a black woman in America.
Yes, I saw myself as beautiful, but I personally never felt understood in my community enough for me to be proud of being a black woman in America. Which, in my early years, had me wishing I was another ethnicity.
Majority of my life I was often told by other black men and women that people that I “acted white”. Which meant, in the black community, that that individual’s vernacular and pronunciation of words was of the Caucasian race. That made me feel like an outsider with my race and I went where I was more accepted.
My mother and father raised my siblings and me to never mumble, enunciate my words, and learn new ones! We looked at it as a form of respect and means to make sure we communicated effectively, but hearing that I “acted white” still made me feel secluded. I just wanted to be accepted and just fit in.
Though I came from a multi-ethnic town, I was bullied by a few classmates. I was called names like “darkie,” “n-word,” and “ugly.” I didn’t understand why that group perceived me as unattractive, but their words unknowingly shaped the perception of my own beauty and increased my wish to fit in and be left alone.
In the year 2000, my family and I moved to Tulsa and since then up to 2020, I’ve learned so much about the black community. I’ve come into contact with incredible women and men, but in those same 20 years, I still only existed. I was still racially bullied, but this time it was indifferent. A guy breaking up with me because his parents gave him an ultimatum. Women saying I’d never have a boyfriend or be married because I’m black to guys rejecting me because their family wouldn’t approve. The only difference is I began my walk with God in 2011 and grew thick skin as I gained understanding in my identity through Christ.
In my walk with God, He has shown me that in my adolescence, I had trained myself to just fit in and go unnoticed. He instilled in me, that:
I am set apart. (Deut 14:2)
I was intentionally created with Love. (Jere 1:5)
I am beautiful and Resilient. ( Ps 139:14, 2 Cor 4:8-9)
I wasn’t alone because He’s been with me. (Heb 13:5)
He accepts me and in Him is my rest/peace. (Matt 11:28)
I am called to carry on the works of Jesus! (John 14:12)
July 2020, I saw a rise of the black community coming together and championing one another in leadership and life. Though summer was highly triggering, God saw an opportunity to heal the broken places, forgive those who hurt me, and rise.
December 2020 at the Live Original retreat, I arrived cautiously, but still eager to meet these other phenomenal women! And I’ve never felt so free to simply be Me. I’ll never forget how 2020 ended. I was fully respected, accepted, heard, loved, and valued…. as a Black Live Original Ambassador.
So, What does Black History Month mean to me? This month meant honoring those who paved the way with their very lives to fight for mental, political, social, and spiritual equality. Because of them, I get to stand on their shoulders and represent a new America…and I’m not alone. I have God backing me. Today and forever, I celebrate ALL of me and my ancestors!
Ryanne Gordon is an Oklahoman Native who currently resides in Tulsa. There she designs homes for a new home builder. She also owns her own jewelry line called “RYANNEMARIE”. You can find her enjoying time laughing with her family and friends. Though she’s passionate about a lot of things her goal is to help people know/discover their worth and ultimately point people to Christ in whatever God has her doing in that season.
Follow Ryanne on Instagram @iamryannemarie
by Ryanne Gordon | Jul 23, 2020 | Life Advice, Sisterhood
Note from Team LO: We are so excited to be sharing part of our LO sister exclusive workshop, The Everyday Girl Guide, with you today! This portion from LO sister ambassador, Ryanne Gordon, is all about sharing God’s true heart for unity. Want to be a part of this entire workshop as we cover topics like relationships, unity, motherhood and more? Download Sadie’s app LO sister today and get your first month free! Click HERE and get started! Now enjoy today’s blog from Ryanne 🙂
The past few months have been such a blur emotionally, physically and spiritually. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to even share about unity so I asked God what was on His heart regarding this topic and He started downloading…
The title of this post is His response to my question which is “But I Love them Too…”
Who would have thought this sentence would take me on a heart examining journey with Jesus! I have two passages to share with you that God placed on my heart, but first let me give you a microwave story about my upbringing!
From age 3-10 I lived in a single parent home. I had 2 older sisters and 1 younger brother. My dad remarried and I was blessed with a bonus mom and two older siblings (1g,1b). When I was 10 my mom remarried and I got blessed with a bonus dad and two younger siblings (1g,1b). What‘s unique about my family is that my bonus mom and her children are Mexican and my bonus dad’s children are half black half white. From the age of three God has been cultivating “unity” in my heart, but I know there’s always more to learn when it comes to God! His word is living and that’s why you can always receive greater revelation when you read it! Let’s dive in!
In John 8:1-11 TPT/AMP, you have Jesus teaching in the temple at Mt. Olive when all of a sudden He is interrupted by the Pharisees bringing a woman to Him. They accused her of adultery and test Jesus’ beliefs. Silent, Jesus draws in the sand and says “He who is without [any] sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” One by one they left until it was just Jesus and the woman. He tells the woman that He does not condemn her and to go on and not sin from now on.
Doesn’t this sound familiar today? People pointing the finger. Demanding justice on their terms. Some ready to throw stones (labels). Now for the second passage.
Luke 22:39-46 TPT/AMP, We find Jesus leaving with his boys and they go to Mt Olive. Jesus then instructed them to pray for strength to prepare them for a SEVERE test of their Faith. Then He himself goes off on his own to pray. Jesus begins conversing or praying to His Father. He says “ Father, if you are willing, take this cup of agony away from me. But no matter what, Your will MUST be mine.” As he’s praying, an angel appeared to him and he began praying harder. When finished, he returned to his disciples only to find them asleep. “Why are you sleeping?,” he asked them. “You need to be alert and pray for the strength to endure the great temptation.”
It says in Hebrews that the word acts as a double-edged sword and God wouldn’t address something without addressing all sides. Like I said, there is always more to God and deeper revelation. Reading these two passages, God not only exposed my own fleshly desires but validated the emotions I was experiencing. He also reminded me of His love for me and my kingdom assignment as His child.
What does living a life in unity look like practically & spiritually? It looks a lot like Jesus but in your daily life. No one told me my pursuit of unity meant first looking in the mirror. It meant changing my heart first in order to change the world around me. I’ll share with you some practical and spiritual steps that stood out to me in these two passages.
1: Being “H.O.T.” – Humble, Open, and Transparent
This is a acronym that my pastor uses and lives by (Hey ?? Pastor Michael Todd! ??) and is a part of my church’s culture code. In Luke, Jesus was H.O.T. before His Father. Humilty was shown when He expressed his heart’s pain and yet submitted to God’s will. He was open because He asked God “is there any other way?,” even though He knew the answer in His heart. Lastly, he was transparent and didn’t hold back his emotions as he prayed, but He knew God’s will had to be His.
It says he was in agony praying to God. The word “agony” means the struggle that comes before death. Jesus had to take a moment to die to himself in order to gain strength to choose to be in alignment with His Father. In our weakness God IS made strong! In order to be “H.O.T.” we must acknowledge how we feel without fear of looking weak, weird, stupid, etc. to choose God’s path.
2: Being GraceFULL/FILLED.
Let me first give the definition that I learned from a series from my church called “Grace Like A Flood”. Grace is the unmerited, undeserved, unearned kindness and favor of God. How do we practically become graceFULL/FILLED? Go to God. Ask for grace to walk in, thank Him for being filled with it and believe that it has been done.
As the Pharisees brought the “adulterous” woman to Jesus to seek justice, Jesus never addressed her as an “adulterer”. Though He had evidence every right to throw a label…He didn’t. It says in the word that God corrects those He loves and Jesus did the same. He convicted the accusers with one question and responded to the accuser with a redeemed mindset in which both rooted out of love and grace.
We must be slow to point fingers and label someone. Have you ever played “Never Have I Ever”? Well the Jesus did that with the accusers. God looks at all sin the same. For this woman it was adultery but for someone else in this story it could be gluttony. Both are a sin. Daily, we all fall short but because of Jesus, God sees us as redeemed. He calls us HIS. He Still gives us days filled with grace that we did not earn.
3: We need LOVE.
This is foundational in order to reach unity. Love is what kept Jesus from labeling the woman. Love is what addressed the accusers. Love is what lit a fire under the disciples when Jesus instructed them to pray.
Love looks out for everyone. Isn’t that what God did through His son? God sent His son not just out love but in pursuit to unite us with Him. Permanently. No matter if you are the accuser, the accused, the slumberous, or even Jesus, there’s something to take and grow from.
Reaching unity first starts within ourselves. I don’t find it a coincidence that both of these passages take place at the same location. In God’s presence and place of worship. By the power of God flowing through Jesus He was able to examine hearts and address all sides.
To the accuser in us, let’s not throw labels that cause division. Our emotions might be valid, but the only difference between you and the accused is that one physically acted and the other only thought it.
To the accused in us, God has redeemed you. God’s justice is YOU living in Him. Living In freedom. Living with your heart back in His hands. And accepting that God’s love is always in pursuit of You. No(thing) will ever change that.
To the slumbrous, wake up. Keep prayer going before you. Attaining unity takes alertness. Attaining unity takes strength to keep choosing not our side or the world’s side but God’s side. It takes discernment to identify what is causing discord.
To the Jesus in us, I know it’s unfair to have to fight something that you feel isn’t your problem, but as an ambassador of the kingdom/ holy priest of God’s presence, it is your given birthright and purpose to be an example of God’s word.
What is God’s plan for unity? I believe is having a redeemed mindset towards one another. Which takes going against the grain of the world and our own flesh. It takes selflessness and courage. It takes being uncomfortable and asking bold questions. But the awesome thing is that God never intended us to walk alone. We can’t learn to be unified without being practicing it. We have our brothers and sisters in Christ, through marriage, through adoption, through ethnicity, through culture or whatever the case may be. God blessed us with diversity to pursue unity.
I waited to mention “racism” until the end. Only because I wanted the sole focus to be about unity. I think we put too much emphasis on a problem and never give enough attention to the solution. Racism is a product of the spirit of division and fear. It is a mindset/stronghold that has kept people captive to where love cannot flow freely and/or without conditions. I hope you can apply what’s been shared and treat one another with the solution in mind. That’s knowing that “God Loves Them Too” and His son was sent on this earth for their heart too.
Ryanne Gordon is an Oklahoman Native who currently resides in Tulsa. There she designs homes for a new home builder. She also owns her own jewelry line called “RYANNEMARIE”. You can find her enjoying time laughing with her family and friends. Though she’s passionate about a lot of things her goal is to help people know/discover their worth and ultimately point people to Christ in whatever God has her doing in that season.
IG Handle: @Rib_of_man
Business IG Handle:@_ryannemarie
