by Brittany Mullins | Oct 11, 2017 | Testimonies |
The Beauty in Brokenness by Brittany Mullins
On January 1st of 2015, I told my Husband “this year is going to be AMAZING, I can feel it!” One week later, I made a decision I never thought I would have to make – to leave my current job, a big part of our financial stability, and choose emotional health over financial comfort. A month went by and I was feeling a lack of guidance, continuously asking God what He had next for me, with no clarity at all. I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point. This season taught me a lot about the “blinders” we have as human beings. We ask and ask and seem to remain in the dark, but often times, it’s our pride that prevents us from hearing the answer. It’s easy to focus on what God is NOT doing as opposed to what He is doing.
February came and I was ready to listen. I finally felt like I was in a space to allow God to show me what my future held, even if it’s not what I had pictured. It was Monday morning, February 2nd. I was feeling joyful, hopeful and ready to attack what was to come, when I received a call from my sister with news that hit me like a wrecking ball, shattering my world. “Dad is dead, he died from a heart attack early this morning”. My entire life, my Dad had been a root cause of so much of my pain, so my first thoughts were ‘how dare you Dad, you had so much you had left to do, to apologize to everyone you ever hurt, re-build relationships with your daughters, not choose the bottle over family, and now you are gone. » I was angry, but my Heavenly Father was prevalent, and I felt wrapped up in His arms.
The following morning, I boarded a flight home for the funeral and in that moment, I felt more vulnerable than I ever had before. I was barely holding it together in my seat when out of nowhere, God gave me the vision for Beneath the Skin – a non-profit to serve teens and young adults struggling with anxiety, depression, self-harm, etc. Odd timing for a revelation, I know…but it dawned on me that I would have never heard this calling if it wasn’t for the broken and humble state I was in at that moment.
2015 served me many other pains. Physical pain from endometriosis, that led to a 4th surgery to remove it that June. More physical pain from a TMJ disorder which led to a second surgery that October. I woke up out of that surgery without the ability to hear out of my right ear, assuming it was from the swelling, and the fact that I just had a major surgery on that side of my face I thought, “No big deal. » Fast forward 5 weeks, I had been diagnosed with permanent hearing loss in my right ear, and my life was forever changed. One of the biggest challenges was how it affected my ability to hear music. My Husband is a full-time musician, so my heart broke each time I couldn’t make out the lyrics, or hear the subtle things that gave each song it’s depth, not to mention knowing that his live shows would never be the same.
Trials encourage us to lean on God whole-heartedly. When you no longer have the answer or the strength, you are humbled beyond understanding. Sometimes, we need to be knocked down to understand where our help comes from. Believers and non-believers alike all wonder why such a loving and gracious God would allow us to experience such debilitating pain. God made it clearer to me that year than ever before.
Knowing God.
Without trials, our knowledge of who God is would be limited.
“Nothing but the great trials and dangers we have experienced would ever have led some of us to know Him as we do, to trust Him as we do, and to draw from Him the great measure of His grace so indispensable during our times of greatest need.” L.B. Cowman, Streams in the Desert.
Becoming More Like Jesus.
As believers, we strive to be “More like Jesus”. This is a common phrase we use, but when we really break it down, it’s not just the love and grace He shows others or His ability to live fully for the Lord. Jesus also endured pain and suffering on every level. Dying on the cross was the ultimate form of suffering, and He did it for US so that we may be set free. What is our pain in relation to that sacrifice?
Fellowship/community.
We are created to do life together, and much of the depth of our communities and relationships comes from the suffering we support each other through. Just as we wouldn’t be able to be grateful or understand the pain Jesus endured on that cross if we ourselves didn’t experience trails of our own, we also wouldn’t be able to relate to one another – to pick each other up or have compassion and understanding.
Strength.
Pain reminds us that we have something to fight for. Without it, we would be complacent, not understanding the beauty in overcoming our struggles. When we overcome, we grow stronger and gain the wisdom needed to encourage and build strength in those around us.
Hope.
Hope is our caffeine. It gives us energy and keeps us moving forward. Without pain, we wouldn’t need hope.
“but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because Gods love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5: 3-5
Growth.
We’ve all heard it said, “Trials of all kinds help us grow into who we are supposed to be.”, but take a moment to acknowledge that… As you saw above in Romans 5, suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope!
The Journey.
Just like all relationships, there are bumps in the road on our journey to knowing God deeply.
“Are we willing to compete for Gods best, with the knowledge that the best things are always achieved by the most difficult paths? We must endure steep mountains, dense forests, and the enemy’s chariot of iron, since hardship is the price of the victors coronation. Arches of triumph are made not of rose blossoms and strands of silk but of hard blows and bloody scars. The very hardships you are enduring in your life today have been given to you by the master, for the express purpose of enabling you to win your crown.” L.B.Cowman, Streams in The Desert
Do not fear your pain. You are not alone, you don’t have to fight your battle solo. Pain brings us together and deepens our relationships with each other, and with God.
“So, do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” Isaiah 41:10
by Brittany Mullins | Sep 25, 2017 | Testimonies |
I’ve learned so much over the years about “my path” and God’s path for me. Bottom line, when our hearts are aligned with Jesus, our paths align as well. An important question to consistently ask yourself is this – how much am I involving God in my decision making? Are you intentionally prayerful? Are you asking for your veil to be lifted and for your heart to allow God to lead, even if the outcome looks different than what you pictured?
About 6 years ago, I was in a job that I was ready to leave. I was determined to either get out or get promoted no matter what it took. I was so focused on moving on that I made multiple attempts to leave, but they all fell through. After applying 10 different times, God finally opened the RIGHT door at the RIGHT time.
I used to feel hopeless, wondering if my desires were in line with the Lord’s plan, but then a mentor of mine reminded me that God is always in control! Yes, we have free will, but the will of God is sovereign and His grace is abundant. More often than not, God’s response to prayer isn’t “I’ll show you where to go”, it’s “Go and I will show you”.
It’s easy to become debilitated when we’re in the eye of the storm and searching for answers, but God wants us to move, he wants us to take action.
The Lord calls us to action all throughout scripture –
“But be doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” James 1:22
“Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock.” Matthew 7:24
“Rise up; this matter is in your hands. We will support you, so take courage and do it.” Ezra 10:4
“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” I Peter 1:13
Maybe God is speaking to you right now as you read this. Maybe you are currently in a situation where you have a tough decision to make, and you’re wondering if it will honor God. Here are a few takeaways to support you on your journey.
1) Be intentionally prayerful and open to Gods will – even if it doesn’t align with yours.
2) Start moving, don’t be afraid to take action. Deuteronomy 31:8 says “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
3) God already knows the choice you will make, and He has a plan to guide you.
by Brittany Mullins | Aug 14, 2017 | Joy, Life Advice, LO Library |
Imagine it’s 6:00 am Monday morning and your alarm just went off. What is the first thing you do? The standard grunting and groaning, covering your head with the comforter – trying to come up with an elaborate excuse to get out of work. You eventually come to your senses, both feet aggressively hit the ground and the cloud of grumpiness you created follows you until the last drip of coffee enters your system.
This Monday morning scenario is just a small example of how we allow negativity to set the tone of our days, weeks and even years. When we start there, we miss out on what God truly has in store for us.
What would happen if we approached Monday in whole new way? What if when the alarm went off, the first thing we did was praise Jesus for the sunshine coming through the blinds? Instead of contemplating ways to get out of work, we look forward to the day the Lord has planned for us. Instead of being grumpy because we don’t have our coffee yet, we are joyful because we have the luxury of even having coffee.
Hebrews 12:2 (MSG) “Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—He could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now He’s there, in the place of honor, right alongside God.”
Keep. Your. Eyes. On. Jesus.
This is something most of us have heard before, one of those verses we skim over because we think “Yeah, of course!” But it is those verses we need to dive into even deeper. We pass by these verses because we are familiar with them…but are we really practicing them? If we are living in a place of discontentment, frustration, and lacking peace, it’s safe to say we aren’t.
Keep. Your. Eyes. On. Jesus.
The trials of life can easily consume us. It’s the human condition to allow one negative thing to blind us from everything great in the moment. We hold onto negative memories like they are the only ones we have. Why do we let them define us? Why do we idolize our pain? An idol is
something you worship, and worshipping something is holding it in the highest regard, keeping all your focus on it and allowing it to rule over you.
When we keep our eyes on Jesus, we can’t help but to be in a position of thanksgiving and praise. We see a shift in our mindset, and the trials turn into lessons. When we know God, and genuinely trust Him, the growing pains become a blessing. Life’s most painful moments transform us into stronger versions of ourselves, with newfound knowledge, experience, and empathy for others.
Gratitude can become as second nature as taking a breath, but it does take time. We have to train our minds to choose it, and many times this requires a major shift in our perspective. When you drink a glass of water, are you praising Jesus that it is clean? Are you grateful that you didn’t have to walk miles and miles to a river, only to carry enough back to wash the four items of clothing you have? When you lay your head down to sleep at night, are you praising Jesus for a pillow and a mattress, knowing there are little ones all over the world who have never felt the comfort of being wrapped up in a blanket? When you turn on the AC in your house or car, are you praising Jesus for the escape from the heat, recognizing that there are millions of people who do not have that luxury? These are just a few of the things that we take for granted daily, but when we keep our eyes on Jesus, our perspective shifts. Everything around us becomes a blessing, and we can properly praise our heavenly Father for his continued love, grace, and provision!
Thank you, Lord, for the abundance of blessings you pour out on us every single day, especially the ones we turn a blind eye to. I pray for a change in our hearts, that every moment will become an opportunity to praise You. I pray that our thanksgiving will become contagious, showing the world who You are, Lord! Thank you for Monday mornings.
