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Struggling with the Hate

by | Mar 25, 2020 | Life Advice, Sisterhood | 33 comments

I talk a lot about haters, and even give a lot of advice to people dealing with haters in their lives. Everything that I have written and said I truly stand by. Those things have helped me through a lot of negativity, bullies and haters in my lifetime, but I think there is a vulnerability that I haven’t reached yet in sharing about how I actually feel when haters comment on my social media. I’ve experience my fair share and truly understand how bad it feel, so I thought I’d share.

If you’ve been following me for a while and read any of the comments, I am sure you have seen it. You can pretty much pick any post and if I haven’t already deleted or blocked the hate, then it’s there, so here goes…this is going to be the most honest thing I have ever written about the reality of how it feels when people are hateful towards me, maybe you can relate.

First off, I think that referring to people as haters can sometimes try to mask the actual pain that comes with the truly hateful words real humans choose to say to other real humans who have real feelings and real lives. Giving people the title of a “hater” almost just sounds too fun. If someone is, “just a hater” maybe it’s somehow easier to not take what they say seriously. Maybe it is, that is until you are on the other end of the hate for who you are, what you look like, or what you are doing. Hateful things hurt, not matter what you call it.

If I am being really honest there have been many times when I delete my social media and never want to post another video, picture, message, or do anything again in the public eye because of some of the haters out there and the negative comments I have received. I realize those are the dramatic moments when feelings are escalated, when I’ve just read one too many, but I want to share this because that is what hate can do to you. It can make you want to just give up.

Also, there are times I feel like it would be easier to just pose in a bikini and smile with the perfect sunlight with some caption about wanting a donut, then to actually post something that matters to me and that I believe could truly make a difference in the world. At least posting something that didn’t really represent who I really am might help shield my heart from the sting of the words that target me after I post something that actually matters to me.

The truth is, though, no matter what you do or however you choose to live your life you will experience hate at some point. I have gotten blasted about my appearance – some people think I am too skinny, others hate my hair blonde, I have had a whole page dedicated to zooming in on a pimple. I have been blasted for my shorts being too short and then made fun of for being modest. I have been criticized for talking too fast, too country, for losing my accent. I have literally had hateful comments for helping orphans in other counties by building schools and safe houses and going to visit them from people who think because I do that I’m not helping people in my own country… I mean hate is everywhere with anything and it can make you not want to go anywhere or do anything.

I was young when my social media became really big. I was 17 when I hit 1 million followers. It was pretty much overnight and then hundreds of thousands more over the years put me now at over 5 million through my platforms. I’m grateful for that and believe there is a purpose in all of that, but before the crazy thing is before I knew who I was, or who I wanted to be it felt like everyone else was commenting on who they thought I was or thought I should be. I remember feeling so overwhelmed.

It is an interesting thing to navigate through when it seems like everyone knows who I am but me.

I did not know what God was doing by calling me. Why would he call a girl who was scared she didn’t even know who she was, felt like a hypochondriac, was struggling through some relationship problems, and would find myself crying in the bathroom from a bully at school? Reading even what I am now writing I see it was the perfect timing to call a 17 year old girl who would have to completely and utterly depend on the God of the Universe Himself to carry her through the journey I was just beginning to say yes to. As time went on I began to find confidence in who He was, and what He was calling me to and I started to think much less about who I was and more about who He is. I started to realize that my life wasn’t about getting the praise of man, but was about bringing glory to the one who made me.

That right there, that moment when I started to think about myself less and Him more was the turning point for me, and that is probably my greatest piece of advice I could give you to walk out the calling on your life and survive the hatefulness of the world. More of him, less of you.

The next thing that changed everything for me, when I am struggling with the haters is to remember that the God I serve actually really loves the haters. Those people who blast me online, he loves them, and he is asking me to love them too. There is no greater example of someone loving their enemies than Jesus. That is humbling to the core. It is not only humbling, but it is extremely challenging. First that would mean that I can not let the hateful words that people say about me make grow hate in my heart for them, and secondly and sometimes this is even more challenging, I can’t let the hate they throw at me make me hate myself. How am I to love others if I don’t realize the love God has for me and I can’t love myself? 

These are the revelations I have to return to every day to be able to continue to post, preach, do videos, write, record podcasts and otherwise fulfill my purpose.

I could just quit it all and go live my life with my husband, my family and close friends out of the public eye, but I want to live a life of purpose and I believe that a true purpose is never selfish and is very rarely easy. I pray that the things I post are never just to boost my ego, or get a lot of likes, because I know that will not truly satisfy my own real desire and the desire that we all as humans have, to live a life of meaning and love.

You have heard me say it before and I will say it again – you will not experience the true depth of love just by being liked or just by liking others who like you back. You will experience the depth of love when you feel known and are loved anyway, and when you love others not because of what they do for you, but because God loved them first. If you do not allow your true self to be known to the people around you no matter how many likes, comments, or compliments that you get on social media –  you will not feel satisfied in your truest desire to love and be loved, and you will crumble in the face of hate. But if the way you live your life online and off is out of a place of already knowing you are loved by the God who created you before a single like or comment, you will be able to stand up under whatever hate you might experience and remain true to your original self God made you to be and the calling He has placed on your life.

It is a lot easier to take a hateful comment about yourself, when you are living for something bigger than yourself.

  • Does the hate still bother me? Yes, it does bother me.
  • Does the hate still hurt? Sometimes.
  • Do I ever cry, because of the hateful things people say? Yes, sometimes I do but mainly it’s not so much out of hurt but out of frustration.
  • Will I stop doing what I am doing because of the hate? Never. Simply because what I am doing is not about me.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

-Theodore Roosevelt

One final disclaimer: My team at LO and I do delete and block people from my pages that say hateful comments and here’s why: I truly desire for my social media to be a place people come to be encouraged and enlightened. The hateful comments seem to just breed more negativity and arguments back and I try to keep my page from being about that. The bible talks about guarding our heart because it is the wellspring of our life. This is a way to guard our hearts and the hearts of those following me from mean-spiritedness, so that’s why we do it and will continue to. We all need to realize the power we have to guard our hearts in our own lives. When someone is being hateful to us in person, we can and should walk away. I call it “getting out of the car,” that might be a story for another day, ha! But we also have the power on our social media to control who speaks into our lives and the block and delete button is one way to do that.

Want more encouragement from Live Original? Follow us on Instagram @legitsadierob and @liveoriginal.

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33 Comments

  1. Kati Rankin

    Sadie, I think you’re such an inspiration so many young girls and women out there. You lead an example of loving others and how to live a holy life, I look up to you even though we are only a couple years apart. I think you’re such a strong godly woman. God has called me to ministry and seeing what you do gives me the hope that I can do the same!

    • Kendal Cretsinger

      You are definitely the inspiration behind me wanting to make a difference in my church, school and any where else I go. Don’t let anyone drag you down, because girls all over the world need you! Thank you for allowing Gods light shine so bright through you. ❤️

  2. Bethany Carroll

    Thank you for being so real and open about your struggles. Knowing that I’m not the only one who deals with hate or anxieties gives me peace and a reminder that we are all Gods people no matter what people say or think of us. I strive to be more like Jesus everyday and you help encourage me to be more like him.

  3. Anna

    I one hundred ? percent needed to read this today. Thank you for being you! And as bob the tomato would say, “God made you special and He loves you very much ???”

  4. Lydia

    Sadie, you’re awesome. I love you, and your love for God. Thank you for sharing this message with us girls. I think it’s something everyone needs to hear, because whether you’re on social media or not, haters are real and their hating is very much real. Thanks for the advice and encouragement to take on the haters with the love of God and a smile on my face. Thanks for being there for me and all of the other LO girls. Thanks for helping me live original!! Don’t know if these comments are actually read or responded to . . . (shrugs) but just wanted you to know that.

  5. Sarah Abney

    Thank you for staying strong, reminding us what really matters, and going through the potential hate to encourage us!

  6. Claire Yarbrough

    Sadie, I love this blog! I experience hate a lot (I’m a high school freshman) for trying to be me at school. This was really encouraging!!! <3

  7. Daniela Balarezo

    Thank you so much for your honesty in this post Sadie! I think it is important to know how to deal with hate and negativity especially when we are trying to represent the opposite of that as followers of Jesus. I am so glad that you are choosing to walk in faith and purpose and that is an encouragement to me to keep ministering no matter what!

  8. Abigail

    What a beautiful way to confront the negative people out there. Thank you for the inspiration Sadie! You are a true leader for all the young teenage girls like me.

  9. Abby

    Sadie you are such a positive inspiration to everyone, let the haters hate and you be you girl. You are a beautiful, intelligent, kind soul. God bless you and your family!!

  10. Margherita Nava

    Dear Sadie, l am as old as you and I just want to tell you that every time I felt discouraged and wanted to give up my faith, my ideas and my enthusiasm, I watched your videos on youtube, I read your blog and I found the strenght and the motivation I needed to go on! Thanks for being an instrument in the hands of God!!! I know it’s not easy to live under the spotlight, but I want you to know that you have my prayers and the prayers of thousands of people! Our generation need what you and all your friends are doing, keep on!!! A big hug from Italy!

  11. Mason Lysiak

    Yess Sadie, preach!! You are so amazing in everything you do and you have changed my life! I grew up in a christian church, but it was just something we did. I always believed in God, but never did anything besides go to church on Sundays. Since finding your Instagram, Live Orginal, youtube, podcast, and books; my life has changed so much! I have found my faith and way to the Lord! Thank you for everything you do!

  12. Abby

    Sadie, thank you so much for being vulnerable. I think vulnerability is the most relatable thing to us all. Keep shining girl!

  13. Natalie W

    Sadie, you have always inspired me to be the best person I can. Even I get hate from doing that and I only have a few hundred followers. I love your strength and your stability and for the past 6 years I have been striving to follow your example in living original and without fear.

  14. Lauren Franklin

    The biggest piece of advice you had, how to deal with haters by remembering that we’re doing this for him and it’s not about us… that gives me confidence. Thank you!!

  15. Joyce Vance

    If anyone is hating You it’s because they are jealous and insecure With There self… Thank You For All Your encouraging Words and Most Of All For Loving The Lord With All Your Heart ❤️Love How Your Light Shines For Jesus.

  16. Robert Mills

    Thank you. From an old man.

  17. Kerra

    thank you so much for sharing this. It has helped a lot ❤️

  18. Jenny Wibholm

    Wow! Sadie, thank you so much for this post! I appreciate how brave you are for being honest. It helps other people relate to it and feel connected! I struggle with trying to please people or get everyone to like me, where there is no fulfillment in that. Your point about thinking more of God and less of yourself hit me! I know personally when I think about myself and only me, it just puts you in a dead end. Keep being you, your words are very encouraging!!!

  19. Ayana Symone

    You are a rockstar, Sadie. I don’t want to speak negatively about my purpose, but I know that the arena I’m stepping into will inevitably expose me to a lot of what you go through. As a result, I’m trusting God in this season of my life to show me how to handle hate well. I hope you talk more about this in future content (about how to handle it, how it feels, etc.) because as someone who struggles with anxiety, one thing I fear is that I’ll crumble under the weight of what many influential people crumble under. I look up to you so much and will be reading this post again when I get my first wave of backlash. Keep me in your prayers as I step into my calling! I’m hoping to handle hate as well as you do! Love you tons 🙂

  20. Jason Dean Link

    You are very special, and you couldn’t have done better job as you have done with this one. Thank you for your passion , you a blessing. Truly, Jason Link

  21. Ashley herald

    This is awesome! I really needed to hear this post today.

  22. Sue

    Good word and insight, kiddo! Personally, I am continually blessed by the maturity of the gifting of God in you. God’s best to you (and Christian) as you continue to fight the good fight.

  23. Jamie Brown

    I needed this ❤️??

  24. Courtney

    God is definitely using you to speak to me right now! I struggle with this same thing. I sing at my church and so often i let the fear of what people think override what God thinks! What a crazy thing to do! I think you are inspiring, especially at such a young age, for keeping your faith in the Lord and doing what He is calling you to do. Thank you!

  25. Emily

    Such a beautiful message! So inspiring to see someone of Sadie’s age being so bold and courageous for Jesus. As someone who is older it really convicts me to be more bold as well; and to not let criticism of others hold me back. As she said, it isn’t about me, it’s about pointing people to Christ with the way that I live my life- and the things I post.

    I’ve always thought I was too “sensitive” to be able to handle people’s hate…but God can give me the strength I need to bear that and not let it destroy me.

    Thank you for your boldness and for the way you are letting God use you to reach millions!!

  26. Peyten

    Amen?? Gooooood word??

  27. Meghan

    I needed this SO BADLY! Thank you so much for sharing your heart so openly with us. You’re doing such amazing things in the name of God. Love you BIG

  28. Trisha Ramos

    Sadie,

    I recently started following you on insta and saw a promo for your book Live. Reading this book made me realize that I’m living fully the way Christ intended me to. Your book has inspired to step into my God given destiny and truly LIVE! On page 28 of your book you wrote the power to make choices is a gift from God! It’s so true I want the choices I make to be influenced by my father. Your a beautiful person keep shining brightly for the Lord! ❤️ Thank you for being you Sadie

  29. Cayla

    I just want to say thx soo much for what u do Sadie!!! and ur team!! I’ve learned and grown so much from listening to ur messages and reading things u post and have felt God speak to me through u. I thank Him for u! God bless!!!??

  30. Tammy

    Sadie: Don’t allowed these people who say bad things or words to you. They’re just talk and possibly jealous because you have great super life and you a super great person yourself. They can’t seem to handle it so they have to bring you down with them. You’re right! It’s about God, not about man. I have to keep reminding myself this, as well. Living in the world is the hardest challenging place to be sometimes, even when you get older I see more illogic and heartless people out there. You’re doing the right thing. It could be your calling from God.

  31. Courtney

    You are truly beautiful inside and out. Truly. You’re very special and I’m thankful that you are choosing to live a life of purpose and that’s what you focus on. I’m sorry that people are so hateful towards you. My parents told me that just means it’s just Satan trying to get in your head and bring you down. Which honestly made me feel better that it’s just Satan being Satan. He can’t take away the purpose of anybody. He is just a liar and everything that comes from him is just so wrong. I feel like I’ve gotten to know you through your posts and I’ve always been encouraged by you. I’m one of the brides this year who doesn’t know if we will have a wedding or not and having you care about that means a lot to me. You’re so sweet and thoughtful! Thank you for being original and fearless.

  32. Hannah

    Sadie- Thank you so much for all you do. You are a real inspiration. I really needed to hear this message today and the fact that it came from one of my favorite people (that I have never met) made it a whole lot better. Please keep up everything that you are doing and know that you ARE changing lives, that people love you, and that Jesus loves you even more.

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