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It’s Not Too Late to Heal Your Brokenness

It’s Not Too Late to Heal Your Brokenness

When I was young, my Nanny told me that one day I’d have to fight for my marriage. As a little girl, it didn’t make much sense to me. I had read lots of fairy tales, and none of them included a woman having to fight for anything. I didn’t know it then, but my Nanny was right. 

Way before we were “that Duck Dynasty family,” we were just Phil and Miss Kay, a couple of teenagers in love. Then came 10 years of Phil doing almost every terrible thing under the sun. He drank like a fish, he didn’t come home at night, and I was left to raise our three boys and keep a roof over our heads. Everyone I knew told me to leave him.

But our story didn’t end there. 

After a decade of living inside a nightmare, Phil finally let God into his heart, and our lives changed forever. We always joked about what a good movie it would make, but we never thought it might really happen. 

If you know the Robertson family, you may have heard some of the story. In our movie, The Blind, we didn’t hold anything back about how we fell in love and how hard those early years of marriage were. Phil was drinking all the time and mean as a snake most days. He didn’t care much for me or the boys. He even thought running a bar would be a great business opportunity for our family. That right there shows you how out of his mind he was back then!

I know a lot of women will see parts of their stories in this movie. I pray that when they see The Blind, they see hope for themselves. 

When the Lord gives us a story, he gives us the strength to tell it. Jesus tells us that when we’re healed, we should tell others “how much God has done for you” (Luke 8:39), so that’s what I did.  I hope my story will show everyone that things can get better. People really can change. 

I’ve seen firsthand the way God can turn lives around. I want the women out there who are hurting because their husbands are hurting to know that there’s always hope in Jesus. I want the men to know they can become the husband, the father, and the man God made them to be.

Phil was the worst of the worst back then. He was well on his way to jail or an early grave. I knew that for him to change, it would take a miracle. I know The Blind embarrasses him a little because he doesn’t like to remember that part of his life. Would you want to watch a movie about all the rotten things you’ve ever done? But Phil also wants people to see his story, to see that no one is too far gone for God. 

When Phil made Jesus the Lord of his life, it was like night and day. He went from chasing his next high to chasing God’s truth. And it didn’t just change our day-to-day lives — it changed our entire future as a family, and it changed thousands of other lives too. Phil’s sister Jan told our pastor, “If you turn Phil toward Jesus, he’ll bring thousands along with him.” And that’s exactly what happened.

When it comes down to it, The Blind isn’t a movie about Phil or our family origins, not really. It’s a story about the grace God offers us and the power he has to transform the hearts of men and women. 

If you’re a woman who loves a man in need of a miracle, The Blind is for you. If you’re a man who loves a woman in need of a miracle, The Blind is for you too. All of us can be healed. All of us can be put back together again. It’s not too late.

The Blind is streaming now on Great American Pure Flix and available on digital, DVD, and Blu-ray. My prayer is that our story will help everyone see that hope, redemption, and restoration aren’t ever out of reach — not for any of us.

Miss Kay Robertson is the beloved backbone and funny bone of the Robertson family and star of the hit TV series “Duck Dynasty.” She married her pioneer man, Phil Robertson, and has four sons, one daughter, and more than 25 grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Kay is the New York Times best-selling author of several books and frequently appears on the “Duck Call Room” and “Unashamed” podcasts. She loves to cook for her family, feed her neighbors, and care for women in need.

Created to Create

Created to Create

Comparison is the thief of happiness because it robs us of connection—connection to ourselves and connection to others. For me, the biggest trigger of comparison and competition is social media. We show up online to find connection or entertainment, but often we close the device because we feel worse than when we started. We look around and realize we don’t have what we want. We see other people experiencing everything we want to experience. Everyone seems happier than we are.

Engaging in creative outlets is proven to improve your brain function, mental health, and physical health. Have you ever noticed a difference in your mood when you do something as simple as listening to music while cleaning or cooking? Or when you were bored as a child, what did you do? When you had to sit in church or take a long car ride or listen to a teacher’s lecture, did you draw or doodle? I always did. I have many pages with my name written in bubble letters or with little drawings scattered along the margins. That’s creative work. These sorts of activities give our brains space to sort out our thoughts and feelings. Being creative taps into the very essence of being human. We are all creative beings.

The creation story in the Bible describes a creative God—just look at the description of all that was dreamed up and created: stars, water, night, day, vegetation. Reading that story paints a picture of artistry in our minds. If God is creative and we were made in his image, what does that say about us? We are created to create.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

(Genesis 1:1 NIV)

So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; (Genesis 1:27 NIV)

Good news: this is not a one-size-fits-all scenario—you can do anything creative here. Activities like knitting, drawing, coloring, cooking, and writing are repetitive in nature and produce a visible result. And what happens when you see the result? Your brain is flooded with the feel-good chemical dopamine. When you feel dopamine, you feel more motivated. You feel happier.

So when you find yourself stuck in the comparison trap, take action. Do something creative. Journal about it. Paint something. Put on some music and dance. That creative motion will help you work yourself out of the trap.

While we would ideally avoid the comparison trap, fully avoiding it is unlikely. But we can be aware that it exists. And because we know it exists, we must be mindful of what triggers us, of the places or people that tend to draw us into the trap, and then avoid them as needed.

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also be guided by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, competing against one another, envying one another” (Galatians 5:25-26)

Maybe that looks like taking a break from social media like I recently did. Or maybe it means setting a timer. Now that I’m back on social media, I can feel the lure of comparison. I once again find myself endlessly scrolling. So I recently set a time limit. After thirty minutes a day on Instagram, the app shuts off. This is a boundary that keeps me from falling into the soul-sucking comparison trap once again.

Maybe removing the app or setting time limits isn’t helpful for you. Let me give you one other suggestion. When you feel unhappy, go back to your photos stored on your phone. Scroll past the random pictures of receipts or parking spots (tell me I’m not the only one who forgets where she parks). Just look at all those pictures. Those pictures are of people and places that brought you happiness. No one takes photos and videos of life sucking. No one takes a photo of the tragic state of their pantry. No one wants to commemorate the stuff that makes them feel the worst. When you feel unhappy, go look at your phone’s photo library and smile. Feed yourself something other than what’s on social. Look at your photos—your life—instead of someone else’s.

And lastly, when we feel the urge to compare and compete, we need to learn to celebrate. Nothing kills comparison faster than celebration. The very act of celebrating someone else takes us out of our own heads, where comparison wants to keep us.

For decades, I have worked on cultivating celebration. I like to describe it as throwing confetti. Of my daughters, Rory is the one who has picked up on the same level of celebration. She loves a party. She will plan her birthday eight months in advance. And when she’s invited to parties, she is thoughtful about the presents she gives. When she was little, every party she attended, she positioned herself right next to the guest of honor. She would look at her friend and grin ear to ear. That’s the picture of celebrating that I have in my mind. When I see someone getting accolades for something they did, or getting the home they always dreamed of, or getting their book published, I want to be like Rory. I want to sit beside them and grin ear to ear. I want to throw confetti and celebrate the good they are experiencing—even if I’m not.

Nothing kills comparison faster than confetti.

So when you lay awake at night and wonder if everybody’s happier than you, remember that everyone is on their own journey. My friend Ashley always used to say, “That’s their journey.” Just because that’s their journey doesn’t mean it needs to be your journey. Just because their journey includes a vacation home doesn’t mean that should be your journey. Just because their journey includes raising kids doesn’t mean that should be your journey. Just because their journey includes striving for a particular something doesn’t mean that should be your journey.

Remember that you are doing what you are doing in life because you enjoy it. You were interested in it or you loved it. Your life, your family, your work—it’s all unique to you. It’s your creative expression.

So when you feel the urge to doom-scroll through your social feeds during those sleepless hours of the night, I challenge you to choose a better way.

Choose to drop the measuring stick.

Choose to cultivate creativity.

Choose to be compassionate toward yourself.

Choose to accept (and love!) the life you have.

And choose to throw a little confetti.

Sarah Bragg is a well-loved communicator and author; you can find her hosting the popular podcast Surviving Sarah. Her latest book is Is Everyone Happier Than Me?: An Honest Guide to the Questions that Keep You Up at Night.

My Identity, Your Glory

My Identity, Your Glory

I recently took my family on a vacation to New York City. When I think of the term vacation, I picture white sand beaches, sunshine, a book, and falling asleep in a beach chair while listening to the tide roll in and out. But when you’re a girl dad, you learn that the word vacation is often interchangeable with the word shopping. And when it comes to shopping, New York City is the place to be.

We had a blast shopping our way through the Big Apple. But one evening we found ourselves smack-dab in the middle of a very crowded Times Square. We were quickly engulfed by a crowd of protesters, street entertainers, tourists, people selling watches and purses, and a host of interesting characters. The intensity of the scene made my protective instincts kick in. “Stay close,” I said as I took my daughters by their hands and led them through the intimidating crowd. People were shouting slogans and selling their wares, and we were overwhelmed by the chaos around us. It would have been so easy for us to get separated, and I was not about to let go of my girls in the middle of that madness. As long as they stayed close to me, they could block out all the yelling, stay safe, and keep heading in the right direction.

That moment in the crowds of that big city sometimes feels like a metaphor for my spiritual life. It seems as if we are constantly being pulled in different directions by the shouts of our broken world and by our own sinful nature attempting to lead us astray. And when we lose touch with our heavenly Father, we can lose sight of who we are and be fooled into adopting an identity that the world wants to assign us, one far from the true identity given to us by a loving Creator:

Your challenges in school can make you feel like your name is Stupid.

A dysfunctional family situation can make you feel like your name is Unwanted.

The mistakes you’ve made can make you believe your name is Failure.

A spouse walks out, and you are left believing your name is Worthless.

I heard a preacher say once that we spend too much time playing “dress up” and putting on identities of the world rather than leaning into who God made us to be. It reminds me of a Henri Nouwen quote I came across: “Spiritual identity means we are not what we do or what people say about us. And we are not what we have. We are the beloved daughters and sons of God.”

My role as a dad has helped me better understand the importance of staying close to my heavenly Father for direction, for assurance, for identity.

Like all those people shouting in Times Square, if we follow the leads and the voices of other people instead of God’s, we soon lose the true story of who we are in Him. Satan knows that if he can get you and me to believe a lie about who we are, we’ll never be able to step fully and freely into the plan that God has for us.

The Bible tells us the truth of our God-given identity: “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” (1 John 3:1). A relationship with Christ also means your identity is found in Him no matter where you have been or what you have done. The God of the universe is only interested in the identity that He has given you.

We are God’s handiwork, His craftsmanship. The psalmist reminds us that we were known by our Creator while we were still in the womb (Psalm 139:13). We are known by God! He knows us better than we know our- selves. It makes sense for us to look to Him when searching for our identity and place in this world. Just like my daughters needed to stay close to me in the middle of that noisy, wild New York City crowd, we must always stay close to our heavenly Father. If we focus on walking hand in hand with Him and hear His voice over the messages of this world, we will hear Him calling us by our true name—the only name that matters.

Remember that the journey to discover your true identity begins by staying close to your heavenly Father. Today, remind yourself that you are who God says you are, and you are living a story that gives Him all the glory.

CONNECT TO HIS STORY Read the following passage and consider how it applies to your life:

EPHESIANS 1:3–10 “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love, He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will—to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that He lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, He made known to us the mystery of His will according to his good pleasure, which He purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.”

Think about the words Paul uses in this passage to describe our relationship with Christ.

What is your identity as a believer according to this passage?

What are the riches of God’s grace in your life? How can you share that with others?

CRAFT YOUR STORY

Spend a few moments today writing about your identity. How do you define yourself? How would you describe yourself to others? Now write about how God sees you. What is your identity in Him? Think about how you need to adjust your view of your identity to coincide with your true identity in Christ.

SHARE YOUR STORY

Reach out to someone you know and encourage them that they are a son or daughter of God—that they can find their identity not in the things the world says but in Christ. Everyone is facing a battle for their identity, and today God could use you to be a much-needed reminder for someone else that they are a beloved child of God.

LIVE YOUR STORY

Spend some time researching what the Bible says about your identity in Christ. Pick out two or three verses to memorize and keep close to your heart in times when you are tempted to let the world define you.

Truth or Toxic Thoughts?

Truth or Toxic Thoughts?

Many times, there are things underneath the surface that keep us from having a thriving relationship. These can be the effects of a past breakup, childhood abuse, bullying, or any number of other distressing experiences. These old pains can repeatedly come up in our minds and cause us to think things that aren’t true about ourselves, others, and God. We refer to this as having “toxic thoughts.”

A toxic thought is a lie against your core identity, against God’s identity, and/or against the identity of others.1 It stems from a violation of love and trust and/or from pain we have suffered. We put our faith in a person, and something they do or say (or fail to do or say) blindsides us and causes emotional injury. The experience leads us to believe something untrue, and when we accept the untruth, it enforces a toxic thought.

Pain we experience can come from anyone or any circumstance. Anyone that we allow to speak into our lives can trigger us to believe toxic thoughts. When we respond by jumping to conclusions about who we are, who God is, and who others are, based on what we see or hear, we are creating belief systems that may or may not be accurate.

The pain can hit the worst when we see it as being caused by those we should be able to trust the most or whom we put the most trust in—the ones we should be able to feel safe with. Often, those we perceive as having let us down have titles such as God, parent, grandparent, teacher, best friend, coach, boyfriend, or spouse. These are the ones who are supposed to be for us, to be on our side. They are not supposed to harm us but help us. In our hurting world, though, hurt people hurt people, no matter what title they hold. Our toxic thoughts stem from a violation of love or trust—including the times we feel like we have failed ourselves.

Toxic thoughts can end up feeling much more like truth than the actual truth. Because we live in a fallen world, our perception of reality is faulty. We can be quick to believe our experiences and what others say (or what we think they are implying), especially if we don’t know to believe something different.

How do we know if we have toxic thoughts? And how were they formed in the first place?

Each human who has walked on this earth has most likely experienced one or many toxic thoughts. They are not merely emotions. They are instead the beliefs that can trigger many of the negative emotions we feel. Our primary emotions are happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise, and anger. When we feel sadness, fear, anxiety, loneliness, confusion, emptiness, longing, etc., we will often find toxic thoughts underneath them.

Consider this example of how toxic thoughts come about: each time you get an email from your boss, your heart drops. Although you’ve been a teacher at the same school for the last five years, and in all that time you’ve only received one negative email, that one email still haunts you. It was that moment, three years ago, when a parent-teacher conference went horribly wrong. The parent lashed out at you, and you responded with unkindness. The principal (your boss) sent you a strongly worded email the next day, and you had a rough meeting with her. Since that incident, you’ve received nothing but kind emails or normal updates from your boss, just like it had been before that conflict.

But your heart rate still increases every time you see your boss’s name in your inbox. You start to overcompensate and stay later at work, and you say yes to all the extra things she asks you to do.

The reason you are feeling anxious in this scenario is that the initial email led to a toxic thought about your identity that now gets triggered every time you see the boss’s name.

The toxic thought it triggers is I’m not good enough or I’m a failure. Your brain rushes to the thought, Oh no, they’re going to tell me I did something wrong again.

In order to start changing this pathway, you have to identify what you are feeling. You have to acknowledge, Wow, when I get an email from my boss, it triggers the toxic thought, “I’m not good enough.”

That’s a very strong belief to hold. The toxic thoughts we believe about ourselves, others, and God might start with a seed of doubt, but they can quickly grow into the biggest tree, with roots that overrun our thoughts, beliefs, and lives because our experience points to the toxic thoughts as truth.

But Jesus came to save us. He is the Savior of our world, and He knew His identity. He heard His Father’s voice, and He knew the mission He was called to on this earth. Jesus knew that each of us would be born cursed to sin. That we would feel the pain and shame and lack of knowing our true identity. That we would search our whole lives trying to find who we really are. That we would look for love and meaning in unsatisfying and harmful places.

When we choose to believe toxic thoughts about ourselves, it keeps us from discovering the identity that we are destined to have. We continually substitute lies for the truth of God, and we let those toxic thoughts run rampant.

The good news is that the toxic thoughts we believe are, in fact, lies. They aren’t true, and they don’t need to remain as part of our identity. The next time you feel anxious or sad, try tracing back what caused you to have the reaction you did, and what toxic thought you might be believing underneath it.

1. Terry Hargrave and Franz Pfitzer, Restoration Therapy: Understanding and Guiding Healing in Marriage and Family Therapy (New York: Routledge, 2011).

Adapted from Wholehearted Love: Overcome the Barriers That Hold You Back in Your Relationship with God and Others—and Delight in Feeling Safe, Seen, and Loved by Stefanie and Caleb Rouse, releasing in April 2024.

The Battle is Not Yours to Hold

The Battle is Not Yours to Hold

The battle is not yours to hold.

Are you in the middle of the battle of your life? Maybe it’s a health battle and you just received some life altering news, maybe it’s a relationship battle and you’re at a crossroads wondering if you should stay or go, or maybe it’s a financial battle and you’ve lost the income you’ve relied on – and now in the middle of this battle, you can’t seem to shake the feeling that YOU have to figure it all out on your own, but the battle is not yours to hold. 

God has a lot to say about our battles, and I want to encourage you with a story of God taking ownership of a battle, giving His people the victory over it, and using it to help strengthen their faith and trust in Him. 

In Exodus 14, God calls His people out of slavery in Egypt, and in this story the Israelites have just begun their journey when they encounter the biggest battle of their lives and face death with 600 Egyptians charging them to bring them back to the place they just left. The people are so fearful in this moment that they ask Moses, “Was it because there were no graves in Egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? What have you done to us by bringing us out of Egypt? Didn’t we say to you in Egypt, ‘Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians’? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!” (Exodus 14:11-12).

Have you said something similar to God? “God, why would you provide this job just for it to be taken from me?” “God, why would you bring me this spouse just to have them cheat on me and leave me to parent alone?” “God, why would you heal my cancer just to have it come back?”

The Israelites said the same thing, “God, why would you give us the hope of a life outside of slavery just to have us die on our way to it?”

And as the Israelites were shaking in fear with death looming right in front of them, Moses answered the people with something monumental that changed their perspective in the battle of their lives:

“Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:13-14).

What are the commands we see in this passage? Have no fear, stand firm, and be still. 

What are the results we see in this story? God takes ownership of their battle, He gives them the victory, and He uses it so they have a deeper trust in Him. 

  1. God takes ownership of the battle. It’s not your battle to hold. It’s His. The people of Israel started to freak out because they believed it was THEIR battle to figure out and then blamed Moses and assumed they were going to die. In the scripture above, Moses reminds them of two things, one – to not be afraid, and two – to be still because God is the one that fights on their behalf. We also see these two things again in 2 Chronicles 20:15, “Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.”
  1. God gives us the victory in the battle. He goes before us and guess what? We win! We may not see the victory of our battle in the way we want to see it or in the expectation we have, but we do have a promise that He goes before us, behind us, and beside us to fight our battles, and we are promised the victory. In this story, the people of Israel were saved from the Egyptians who all died in the middle of the sea that God parted for them to cross. In Deuteronomy 20:4 we are reminded again that we have the victory over our enemies, “For the Lord, your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”
  1. God uses the battle. He’s a good God and even though He does not like our pain or want us to struggle, He uses it for the good of us and others. God used this story and what the Israelites witnessed to change their view on their battle and on Him, and in that they ended up trusting God and Moses to continue to lead and guide them. Later Paul writes something similar to the Romans in Romans 8:28, “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” 

Maybe the battle you are currently walking through doesn’t seem to have a way out or a good ending, but that is exactly what the enemy wants you to believe – that you are stuck in this forever, that there is no way out, or even that you will die like the Israelites thought, but as we see God is a God of promises, and He promises that you are not alone, that the battle is His, that you will see a victory, and He will not only use it to strengthen you, but to strengthen people around you. 

God, we pray right now for the woman reading this who is currently in the battle of her life, give her daily strength to surrender this battle over to you, just as we have seen in this story in Exodus, your victory doesn’t always look like how we thought it would, but you go before us, behind us and beside us to protect us, to give us the victory and to use not only the good parts of our story, but the battles as well. Thank you, God for all you have done for us and all you will continue to do. We love you and trust you today and always. In Jesus mighty name, amen.

A bit about the author:

Hello sister and friend! I’m Kayla Nordlum! I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon and now live in the beautiful state of Arizona, where the sun really never stops shining!

My story might be similar to yours, for years life felt empty, confusing and disappointing. Unmet expectations left me stuck and hopeless. I struggled to trust that God had good plans for my future because I constantly replayed the mess I made of my past. BUT GOD.

Through a personal relationship with Jesus I realized it was never about what I did or what I would do, but everything to do with what He could do through me. I decided to fully surrender to the Lord in May of 2020. Through my act of obedience, I watched toxic relationship cycles end and negative mindsets slowly transform. God finally had my FULL heart and life was now EXCITING. I had vision, passion and purpose that I could not come up with on my own.

In August of 2020, I started a business called Worth More Co. (@worthmoreco). A space to remind women to never settle in life, love, or faith + it’s been so amazing to see what God has done and what he is doing with this sweet little community, PLUS I create fun merch, and who doesn’t love that?!

Writing has always been healing for me, I have journaled almost daily since I was young, but I never felt qualified to write for others (doesn’t God always use those people?) In January of 2021, I got serious about writing my first book (“The One That God Away”) and it’s almost ready to be released! God is so faithful and kind, He really has the best redemptive stories!

Now more than ever I know that with God THERE IS MORE + I’m super passionate about helping women find the MORE in their stories too.

XO

Kayla

Keep up with Kayla on Instagram @kaylanordlum

I Want God More Than Control

I Want God More Than Control

Back when we had permed hair and were twentysomething vibrant, we used to talk about how we hoped God would never send us as missionaries to Africa.

My best friend and I recently revisited this twenty-year-old conversation: how while we walked the halls of a seminary where we studied God, we secretly feared a call on our lives that would make us do something radical and hard. Now, on one hand, we cringe at this. We want to judge it and call it ignorance or selfishness or being really young or thinking life was just up to us, but then we step back, pause, and get honest.

Were we really that different from most believers? We say we want God but sit with fingers crossed behind our backs, hoping He will never ask us to do something too sacrificial.

The truth is that our fear was never really about Africa. Africa just represented something that was unknown. Africa got blamed for what was really a small faith—a mindset whereby we could love God but never let that love interrupt our plan for a beautiful house, a handsome husband, three kids, a dog or two, manicured nails, church on Sunday, and cute jeans. It was never about Africa. It was about wanting life both ways.

Somewhere in the midst of the daily whirlwind of life, we have convinced ourselves that we can live in the in-between when it comes to God. We are convinced we can make our faith what we want it to be— customize it like we do with food at restaurants, ordering faith to fit our tastes. But when we become followers of Christ, we don’t get to make up the script. It’s either all God or no God, He says.

Our desire for control—for logic, for reason, for that which makes sense to us—is one of the biggest factors in why we don’t have more of God. It’s not that God is displeased with our logic or that we shouldn’t seek spiritual understanding through the study of Scripture. In fact, this is the essence of spiritual growth: we want more of God the more we know Him. But if we truly want God, the piece that must be abandoned is our demand for logic. We have to want Him more than what we can understand since intellect gets in the way of unvarnished love. When we demand that God make sense, we overstep our role and show our sense of entitlement. In life, God calls us to scary places we can’t understand, and we must have an open heart of faith to take the leap with Him. We must come as children who know and care nothing of formulas, calculations, and risk. That is faith. That is what makes a Father glad.

Life with God was never meant to be a calculated risk; it was meant to be an illogical surety. Logical people are at risk of stepping in the way of the supernatural. We don’t mean to—it’s just that often there’s a core incompatibility between what is known (tangible, flesh, earth) and the Unknown (God), and when we choose logic, it hinders His work. Don’t misunderstand—God doesn’t need us to understand to do His thing. He can work under any conditions, at any time, in any way. But whether we submit to His working is in our hands.

He wanted us to choose things and see things and experience things from a free will and an open heart. Otherwise, He would have created robots to simply do His bidding. But He didn’t. Because He is God, a part of Him will always be unknown to us as humans with limited minds. Yet so much of Him can be known by way of Scripture, experience, the heart, the mind, and the senses. We don’t need logic and reason to know we love and trust God.

And while logic feels good because it is a controllable entity, God often calls us to illogical and unreasonable places to expose what position control holds in our lives. He calls us to the things we fear because they’re foreign and require sacrifice. The things we don’t want to face because they seem too hard.

I wonder: What is your Africa? It took twenty-five years, but my best friend finally met hers. It started with a simple phone call, a “simple” inquiry about foster children in her county who needed a home, but it really started before that. The heart change had to come first, and did. It started seven years before with a trip to Colorado for couples struggling in their marriage. She went with her husband, fighting long-held private struggles. But she came back herself having changed. My best friend wasn’t the same best friend when she came back. She was a better version of the same one I loved. Something inside of her had met God in a different way in those Colorado mountains— something that made her more God-hungry than ever before. She was just . . . different.

So I wasn’t completely surprised when she called me a few years later to tell me the news. “We’re going to look deeper into foster care, Lisa. I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. I just feel pulled to do this and I can’t explain why.”

I didn’t need her to explain. I knew from my own life that wanting God means doing things that move His heart—which we want to do. People will no longer have to pitch us on God-causes; our heart for Him compels us to pursue them.

And I knew this, too—that God doesn’t typically ready us in ways we think work best and look best to others. He readies us on the inside when we can’t see it ourselves. (It’s a myth to think we will ever be ready for anything that is a God-sized undertaking. We can position ourselves but can never fully prepare.) My friend would never be ready to do foster care. But she was already ready to do it because of her desire for Him.

She’d done some form of foster care for many years, but I remember her first two years as a foster mom well. Many phone calls where she cried in frustration because it was hard and heartbreaking. Many moments when she felt like she wasn’t enough. I would tell her I loved her but offered little more than that because I just couldn’t help like God. She was bitten and spat on, and held children deep into the night while they told her they heard voices. She was in way over her head, way “underqualified” for the things she could and would tell me about. My little khaki-wearing friend became a woman who walked in and out of jails and spoke to the courts like an expert, without batting an eye. She loved her foster kids. They loved her. They became family. She cried, even when she knew it was right, the day the baby she’d had since birth left their home. I watched, from afar, as an observer. None of it made sense.

But it was all God. It’s what she could not unknow after she knew it.

We have both learned much since those seminary days. About life, God, and what messy looks like. We have learned that life is not our script to write and God lives in the illogical sureties, which are abundantly superior to the calculated risks.

And there is much more to learn. But some things about God we never will. So we keep going and make peace with the not knowing, understanding it is an important part of wanting Him first and most.

Article adapted from I Want God: How to Love Him with Your Whole Heart and Revive Your Soul by Lisa Whittle. Copyright © 2023. Use by permission of Thomas Nelson.

Lisa Whittle, a bestselling author, speaker, podcast host, and Bible teacher is the author of I Want God: How to Love Him with Your Whole Heart and Revive Your Soul. Lisa is the founder of Ministry Strong and the popular Jesus Over Everything Podcast. www.LisaWhittle.com

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