When I used to picture the future, there was always the question of “who will I marry?” I was curious about the matter. My mom used to tell me she prayed for her husband growing up, so I started to do that. I didn’t do it every day, but when I thought about it. This also meant one very important decision – do not compromise. Even though some decisions were difficult and sometimes our hearts hurt, there’s a promise.
Psalm 138:8 says, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me.”
God is working behind the scenes. We are a better spouse as we place our disposition in God. We aren’t designed to find fulfillment in another human being. I like how the Christian artist Plumb said it, “There’s a God-shaped hole in all of us…only He can fill.”
I didn’t date in high school. I didn’t necessarily plan it that way, but my heart was protected in the process. For me, it was best. I knew I was “saving up” my heart. I wanted to grow personally. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but even in my naivety, I saw that people’s intensions were not always pure. I saw friends get their hearts broken. Maybe the relationship was more serious than it should’ve been. It was as though girls were more willing to give up parts of them when they forget what they are worth. You’re worth so much more. You were bought with blood – we are made whole because of what Jesus did for us. You’re worth more because of what He did, not because of what you have or haven’t done. That’s the power of grace! So, even if you feel unworthy, you can go boldly to the thrown of grace. There is grace for our mistakes and healing for every heartbreak. Dear, you are so loved, and no past is greater than what God has done for you.
“Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16
Instead of giving you a list of rules about dating, I’m going to challenge you to do this: “Guard your heart with ALL diligence.” Guard it like you’re protecting the Queen. The castle guards at Buckingham palace are famous for being unmoved by guests. They don’t even flinch. You don’t even have to give your time to someone who isn’t for you. You don’t need to hear “you’re beautiful” from a guy to feel beautiful. It’s always nice to hear, but don’t sacrifice a special part of you to hear it. You are carrying out the plan of God for you now. You don’t need distractions. Life doesn’t start when you get married – a new chapter does.
Queen Esther’s marriage was ordained for a great purpose. “If I perish, I perish,” she said, after learning in order to save her people she must risk her life. (See Esther 3-4.) Her marriage strategically placed her in places to help people. Despite the glitz and glamour of living in a palace, I don’t think it was an easy place to be. I took this matter so seriously growing up because I wanted this kind of intention with my marriage. I wanted to be willing to go wherever I needed to go so God could use me. It wasn’t the easy road.
“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap a harvest, if we do not give up.”
When I met my husband, I soon realized we met on purpose. God truly fulfilled my desires beyond what I could have hoped for. He answered my prayers, even though it looked different than I thought it would. It was better. I never could have imagined He could grant me the desires of my heart the way he did. From the details big and small, He had a plan all along, He just needed me to stay steady. I’m so thankful I waited for Colton and God proved Himself faithful again.
Getting to know God right now while you are single will prepare you for marriage and beyond. I’ll leave you with some wise words once spoken to me: Jesus will always be your main squeeze.